There was a young man of the village whose mother sent him on a long journey. "This cat catches no mice. You must take the animal to my sister, who lives at the base of the mountain. She knows herbs which will coax the cat to accept its own nature as a hunter. Only a stupid son would bring home a cat that doesn't know how to be a cat."

Humans and dogs have lived in symbiosis for tens of thousands of years, each adapting to the other’s psychology. But what if that balance tipped fully toward the canine side? What if dogs, with their pack logic and clear hierarchies, became the ruling species — and humans, willingly or not, became their loyal companions?

"If you fail, it's because you weren't hungry enough, or smart, or willing to work. The formula is simple enough - sacrifice sleep, joy, time, and doubt. Replace these with measurable outcomes. Why are so many unwilling to do what is required?

In the center, on an altar, lay the sacrifice: Bad Bunny, skin mottled by the fickle light, chest rising and falling slowly. He was drugged and bound in ritual knots, hair spread like ink, moustache and goatee untamed. He smiled faintly in confusion, whispering sounds none of the other Bad Bunnys could hear.

Everyone thinks in their past lives they were very important, when it's more likely you were a serf in the fields, and lived horribly, and died horribly with a tooth infection, and all your family starved or were murdered by Mongols, and rats picked on their bones, and there were lots of mosquitos, and you had scabs. Which is why I'm glad I was a princess and had citronella candles and soft things.